FAREWELL LETTER TO MY PAST SELF

Dear A., 

I’ve been dying to tell you that I am still resentful, that I hated you and repelled you and I still hold you too close to my skin. But the more I know myself and I learn about my depth, my shadows and I let go of my old Identity, you come up again every day, over and over, as the source of it, as the representation of it. You became the personification of who I can blame for my pain, my mistakes and my suffering for being lost.

If anything, I must thank you because you showed me what I could not face of myself. The auto-imposed conforming to what is expected, the burning of my energy for a useless cause, the seeking of recognition on titles, money or a group of white male, the feeling superior to others, the holding on grudges and resentment for past traitors, the envy and jealousy over other women who seemed to have what I don’t have and wanted, to be how I aspired to be, for trying to impose my way on others, for the rigidity and inflexibility and the feeling stuck.

Thank you for the teachings and the lessons, but now I must let you go.

As you are my past Identity, you called yourself my older sister, no, you are the younger self and now that I grew, I let you pass and go in peace to no return, as to make space for the newborn.

I am dying to meet you, my new Identity,

M.

- Try this exercise: start writing a letter to that person you hold resentment to from your past. Your conclusions might surprise you, but for sure, the act of forgiveness will liberate you. -